never done time alone it even petrifies me now lyrics

And in the aftermath of the evils of this world, my heart is wrapped up like a faithful mummy.

It shuts its eyes and listens to my song of pain and doubt as if it has never heard anything more beautiful. It hears the song I never wrote, the bitter lyrics, the minor melody that echos from inside me. My heart prays in groans, and I look for love – scarred, bruised, beaten and crucified. In these phases of life that are so cruel, I feel as close as I will ever get to feeling certain. My heart aches and I feel loved – somehow loved. But every time death appears, I hear the cello bowing a melody that sings to me out on the branch. I want tragedy to feel purposeless and futile so I have good reason for doubting love. I hear of a youth pastor, a youth pastor’s wife, their unborn child losing their lives so suddenly, leaving their parents in peril…wondering how they’ll go on, and for a moment doubt sidles up next to me, convincing me that love is all a sham.īut then I hear the descant of a cello – the strings being bowed beneath the tragedy of it all and I feel something else. At times I envy those men who are wrapped up in certainty like faithful mummies, staggering around with their arms stretched out before them, doing what mummies do by gut instinct.Īnd then there’s me. I will never know for sure what I long to know…for sure. I’ve come to know that I will carry doubt with me until I die. How could I believe that if there were one (and only one) God, that he would crawl to me, find me, sit next to me on the branch I had crawled out on and hum a melody that would put my heart at ease? But small, lost, fickle – ashamed – a coward – memorable only to a few. So unsure – how could it possibly be true? God torn limb from limb, defending me – so small. It will cost love something to get to you, will cost it everything. And when it finds you out of reach from anything sane, from anywhere anyone rational would go, it squeezes into the tight spots, and crawls out on the limb that you’ve hidden on.

It finds out where you are hiding and it comes looking for you.

Never done time alone it even petrifies me now lyrics